i’ve been advised to just enjoy the ride for now.

which makes perfect sense when i consider my lack of permanence here. as it has been for the last four years.

the hardest part of being back home is knowing i’ll be going away again shortly. and that mostly everything here must then be of a transient temporary nature, because any emotional investment i make will only lead to disappointment.

so what happens when you realise that what you’ve been looking for all over the world is actually right here and has been for a while now. and that it’s so easy and so simple. and yet, once again, crazy complicated.

interestingly enough, somehow i’ve become friends with an ex-girlfriend of a good friend.

don’t ask about the mechanics. it’s mind-boggling.

anyway, so we hung out, she got drunk, we ktv-ed, etc. all good fun, and hopefully i’m better company that some of her other friends i’ve heard stories about from the good friend of mine.

then there’s another friend of mine, whose life for the past two years reads like a qiong yao story. all sad partings, happy reunions and shocking stunning bombshells.

apparently it’s break-up season.

and then sometimes old friends surprise you.

it’s funny how our lives intersect at various stages, and how we’re all part of the same web.

there aren’t very many people who i feel this comfortable with.

i’ve been listening to the clash and the cure and wubai.

they remind me of london times. of winter, of sitting in living rooms, of snow. with different people, at different times.

and reading through the blog archives of S, i feel guilty for having been such a bitch. and yet, where does one begin to apologize for disappearing without any explanations? [obviously this is going to need a lot more substantiation, but i will do that another time. in another post]

singapore makes me nostalgic. there are too many memories, good and bad, of past lives and past loves and old old times when nothing mattered. but it also makes me think a lot harder about the future.

london, at the moment, just seems like a parallel universe away.

my feet hurt from dancing till 5 in the morning.

and i think the motherload of redbull i had is preventing me from getting the sleep i ought to be having.

but tis alright, really.