so i have this friend who is utterly bohemian and free-spirited.

she’s quite a lot older than i am, and a trained architect, but she floats around doing crafty things and going for dance classes and living out of a big box that she takes along with her each time she moves to another one of her many friends’ living room.

some days i think, i want to be just like that. carefree, to some extent, doing whatever i want to do, who cares if i don’t have a permanent job or a toilet i can call my own.

but then, on other days, it just seems so pointless. i’m sure she sees some larger picture that i can’t, but from my perch i see a lost girl trying to find her way still. i guess in some ways, it’s very difficult to escape from the very long shadows of an extremely successful and filthy rich mother who can and will provide you houses in london and paris, amongst other things. how does one differentiate themselves from their parents except by rebellion, in a multitude of subtle and/or evident ways?

maybe that’s the point, though. perhaps the process of trying to be different is courageous. it would be so easy, and it IS so easy, to continue in the footsteps of those that have gone before. and it doesn’t matter why, the fact of making that effort is enough. strength in adversity, etc. it would be so boring if we all listened to our parents and depended upon them for everything.

and perhaps after i’ve chalked up enough experience points, when i’ve squirrelled away enough money, i can be however and wherever i want to be as well. i hear consultancy work is very very lucrative.